Mahou Shoujo Shiiko-chan!
by ThatMairyGuy
Summary: I stopped caring a long time ago. This one's basically Evangelion, but everything is magical girls. Characters, Evangelions, EVERYTHING. Except Misato's dad, he's a ferret.
1. Wizard Testicles

Preface: Ok so, this is sorta why I'm a slow writer, I spread myself too thin on so many things it gets ridiculous and then not everyone likes all the things and I feel bad. But don't worry, I'm taking a break from all the important stories to focus on this, F/GitR and a little something I like to call Crossover Boogaloo. My original plan was to have F/GitR and YAEF end on the same day as JAEF, but that plan changed slightly. For now though, you'll need to be playing guess the plot twist with all of my stories and i won't tell you which one is most important.

Now on to this story in particular. I've basically made Evangelion into a magical girl story similar to Sailor Moon, Pretty Cure or any other one in the genre. It's not a crossover, though it may make like, a single reference. I cannot promise you a literary masterpiece on the level of Madoka Magica, only high school lesbians, 'friendship' an-nevermind, I _can_ promise you Madoka Magica.

I've also broken a few of my personal rules for writing fan fiction. 1: Kaoru should never be a love interest. 2: Don't use honorifics unless it's for comedy. 3: Gendo is bad at parenting.

I would also like to address a short message to the 'Mairy is a Lazy Bastard Association' Board Chairman: I can write at whatever pace I please, so shove it up your Scottish anus.

**Mahou Shoujo Shiiko-chan.**

**First Spell: Then Everything Was Lesbians**_  
_

* * *

The boy stepped off the train into a throng of people, which was a given, given the fact that the apprentice mage had decided to arrive in the bustling metropolis just as most schools were allowing students to leave. It was to his luck, the voice in his ear said, that many students were apparently remaining within the schools for a while longer for some reasons. The boy immediately sent back a reply through the one-way telepathic link.

'_That's because many students remain within the school grounds to pursue feats of physical or intellectual prowess. Surely a great and mighty sorcerer such as yourself would encourage these things in today's youth._'

'Take care not to forget, Nagisa-kun, you are also one of today's youth. Now get us up high on a hill or something, we need to find where Adam's base of operations is.' With a light smirk and a shift of the bag he held, the boy left the train station and made his way toward the tallest and closest point in the city, a very large hill reaching almost as high as some of the skyscrapers in the distance.

* * *

_..._

* * *

"Goodbye Rei-chan! Don't stay at the arcade too long, your sister will get worried if you're out too late." Shiiko called out of the second floor window, much to the chagrin of the people crowding the sports field adjacent to the school's front gate.

"Ikari-san, please don't yell out the window like that." The mousy-haired class representative sighed. "I know she's your friend and she lives on your street, but you don't have to be so loud, now the sports clubs will be mad at us again."

Turning away from the ever so mentally-demanding job of cleaning the windows, Shiiko bowed by way of apology. "Sorry Hikari-chan, I just get so worried about Rei-chan since she doesn't have many other friends."

As if this entire event had been scripted by a moron, the classroom door was slammed across its floor tracks by a very angry redhead in sports bloomers. "Ikari!" the girl screamed. "Quit yelling crap out the window when sports clubs are _trying_ to practice!"

Shiiko adopted a very masculine voice she had heard from her father's friends, prostrating herself before the girl in apology. "I am most sorry Sohryu-sama, please allow me to atone for my sins in a most honourable manner." Saying this, Shiiko raised her upper body and jammed the handle of the window cleaner into her stomach, drawing it across and out in an imitation of traditional ritual suicide.

Sohryu tapped the handle of a broom she had just picked up against Shiiko's neck. "There, you're dead, now get back to work. And _stop_ yelling out the windows, you don't see me running into your club and yelling about my friends."

Except Toji Suzuhara had to point out the obvious. "You sorta do that already; whenever Shiiko does it you run around yelling at her." He said, taking the disturbance as a momentary break from cleaning the classroom.

"Plus, none of the other clubs have an issue." Another girl, Keiichi Aida said, zooming her handheld camera onto the lower hem of Sohryu's bloomers. "It's really _just_ you Asuka, perhaps you like Shiiko and you're playing hard to get. Am I close?" She queried, pushing the camera lens very much into Asuka's personal space.

"Gott Verdamnt! Is every one at this school a lesbian of some description?" Asuka exclaimed, jamming one hand over the camera lens and bringing the other down hard on Keiichi's skull.

"Don't think I am." Shiiko chirped, taking a moment to think about the question.

"Sure hope not." Toji droned.

"No." Hikari said, clearly annoyed with the interruption to her precious cleaning schedule.

"Huzzawhat?" Their teacher said, having fallen asleep halfway through the last lesson of the day.

Asuka turned on her heel, intent on leaving this den of madness behind her. "I have ceased to care, I'm leaving. But can someone please rein Ikari in? Every day she yells something stupid right at the front gate and I can't help but think she's mentally challenged."

Shiiko adopted a hurt expression, even though Sohryu couldn't see it. "I don't know anything about _my_ mental issues Asuka-chan, but I _can_ tickle you silly!" and with that, she leaped across the small gap between them and brought Asuka to the ground with her weight.

"Someone help! Get this madwoman off of me! Aida you bitch, that's my ass!"

As Asuka was crying out about oppression of her rights to not be molested, Toji diligently retrieved Keiichi's camera from where she had dropped it and began to record the scene unfolding around him, just as Keiichi had told him to do if this situation ever arose in real life.

* * *

_..._

* * *

He felt it again, that tug on his mind that told him it was nearby.

"Master, can you feel that?" He said, casting an analytical eye over the ebb and flow of the city's magic. Again there came a rustle from his bag, telling him that whatever was happening in there was most likely too magical for him.

"Well I don't know, Nagisa-kun, I feel a whole lot of hessian sack and 5th Plane Extending spell and not much else. Maybe if you had let me weave a viewing spell into your clothes I could tell you." Clearly his master was slightly miffed at having been forced into a magically extended sack hidden inside a normal travel bag without any chance of seeing the outside world for the next twelve or so hours, but such were the downsides of hiding from a primal being at the source of all magic by polymorphing yourself into some kind of magic ferret.

With a smirk that only he could currently see, Nagisa reached into the bag and broke the seals keeping the excess magic juice from leaking out. Scampering up his arm came his master, silvery fur ruffling in the wind.

"I thought I'd never feel the wind in my hair again." The great and mighty wizard said, beady magic ferret eyes taking in the city. "I really should have installed an air circulation spell in that sack, it got very stuffy when I started farting."

"I did not let you out so we could discuss the infirmities of old age Master, I believe Adam has started his movements and want your opinion." Taking a chocolate bar out of one of the mundane pockets of the bag, Nagisa tore it open with his teeth while pointing out somewhere in the city too far for normal eyes to see. "There's a powerful magic that feels much like a familiar spirit down below, along with a human with some stunning potential. It may just be me, but I think Adam's gathering people with high latent powers and using them somehow." Nagisa tried to push some of the hair out of his eyes but found his view blocked by an entirely different set of silvery strands.

"Move out of the way, I'll be the judge of this." His master said from the lofty vantage point of his student's head. "Normal over there," he began to mutter, "normal here too, aha! There we go: one human, probably female, high magic potential. She's moving away from several small magical beings and that's not too good." He suddenly trailed off.

"Master, I can't tell what you mean if you insist on blocking my eyes like that."

"Not my fault you can't see with your third eye."

"Even if I could Master, I don't need a third opinion on polymorphed wizard testicles. Just tell me instead, I no longer wish to remember this day." Nagisa grumbled, adopting a posture that one could only describe as 'grouchy'.

"Just northwest of the girl is a very large magical presence that has the same feel as the small ones chasing her; I think they're gathering people with latent magical potential and harvesting them somehow."

Nagisa grabbed the bag from where it lay on the bench, chocolate bar falling to the ground unnoticed. "You could have told me after we had rescued her, now we might not make it in time."

He leaped away from the hill with a speed that most mundane humans wouldn't bother following.

* * *

_..._

* * *

The small creatures were fairly relentless, Rei surmised. No matter how many alleyways she led them down, no matter how many rocks she threw, they kept chasing her. The ones crawling across the walls were worse, just based on how little they were phased by a metal bar to the snout. With her back to the wire fence and no way out except through the writhing mass of chittering monsters, Rei Ayanami began her last stand. Hearing a scratching high above her, she tore her gaze from the lower throng to await the fresh horror coming rapidly from above.

A shadow fell down, bouncing from wall to wall to slow its descent. Dropping the last few metres, the shadow broke its fall on the writhing mass below. Rei could only watch as the shadow, now clearly visible as a young boy with a large cloak, laid into the monsters around her.

From within the depths of her mind, something changed.

"Hello, young lady in the blue? Can you hear me?"

"I-i can hear you." Rei stuttered, an edge of fear finally creeping into her voice.

"Good." The voice said again. "I'm about to drop something down to you. It'll survive the fall, you just need to pick it up and hold on tight."

The next moment, there was a 'clink' behind her, just on the other side of the fence.

* * *

_..._

* * *

The next morning, Rei came to school with her arm wrapped in bandages.

Five minutes later, the teacher introduced a new student to the class. From Shiiko's careful observations, this new student was rather good-looking; as he turned to write his name on the board, every girl in the class except for Rei was watching his sleek fingers dance across the board. When he was finished, he faced the class and spoke, his voice calm and formal.

"As I hope you can see, my name is Kaoru Nagisa. I do not have any particular likes or dislikes, but I do play the piano." He fell silent immediately.

"What an, ah, explanatory introduction, Nagisa-kun." The teacher said, clapping her hands together to regain the attention of the class. "Why don't you sit over there, by Suzuhara-kun."

Toji 'harrumph'd, he clearly didn't want to associate with the only other named male in the class.

"Hello there, Suzuhara-san I presume?" Kaoru said as he took his place, a good-natured smile plastered across his face. "I hope you do not hate me at least. I believe that would be non-beneficial to us both."

"Whatever, just don't go pissing me off."

* * *

_..._

* * *

When the lunch period began, Nagisa was very quickly swamped by his new colleagues, many of them eager to know 'Do you have a girlfriend?' and 'Does she mind sharing?'. Making his excuses as politely as possible, the silver-haired boy navigated the throng and placed himself beside Shiiko, who was giving Rei a concerned grilling on the exact source of her bandages.

"Excuse me," he interjected, "but I don't believe I got your name yesterday."

"Rei Ayanami." The girl in question stated. "Do you have a reason to be here?"

"Not particularly. I met you yesterday and just today found that we're in the same class. I just feel I should know more about your situation." Nagisa kept his hands neutrally by his sides the entire time, but somehow Shiiko was holding one hand in a crushing grip right under his nose.

"Did you save her?" Her voice was low, conspiratorially so.

"Pardon?"

"Was there a monster that you saved her from? That'd be so cool!" Shiiko suddenly began to bounce on the balls of her feet, all happiness and sunshine suddenly.

Nagisa laughed. It wasn't a prolonged bout of laughter, just that single 'hmm' that sounds more like a honk if you breathe right. "Nothing that fantastical. I know of the events that transpired, but I have no reason to tell you."

Shiiko pouted mightily, enough so that dimensions have collapsed under lesser pressures. "Why not? I'm Rei's friend, you're just someone she met yesterda-" she cut herself off, dropping Nagisa's hand and bringing her lips very close to Rei's ear. From there, a stream of whispering began, except Nagisa could hear it, so it wasn't really whispering.

A stream of very hushed but still audible speaking began. When it was done, Rei raised a single blue eyebrow. Lowering it after a moment, she began to speak. "No, I was not molested or left for dead in an alleyway where Nagisa found me and nursed me back to health. If it was something as dramatic as that I wouldn't be here today." She turned slightly in her seat to gaze at Nagisa, red eye to red eye. "I don't know if you had any other reasons for speaking to me, but unless it's because of Katsuragi, I do not need to know."

"I suppose I just wanted your name after all, I was a slight bit distracted yesterday." And so, with no trace of emotion on his face, Nagisa turned to face the waiting throng of students watching his every move. But something at that moment took hold of Shiiko's mind, prompting her to say things she _really_ shouldn't have.

"My name's Shiiko Ikari, I play the cello." Shiiko blurted out, prompting Nagisa to spin on the spot. "You play the piano, right? We could play together some time."

Nagisa smiled. "I don't see why not."

"Do you like cakes?" she continued, her tongue more efficient at digging holes than any shovel. "I can bake a cake for after we play."

"I don't know, are there very many types of cake?"

"Well, there's chocolate cake, butter cake, black fo-"

"There are many." Rei helpfully provided. Suddenly, Keiichi and Toji came bounding into the general area. Well, Keiichi bounded in brandishing her camera, Toji reluctantly staggered along behind her with a look of great disapproval.

"That is a wrap people! I got all that on tape; come see me later if you want every piece of the action! Nagisa being suave, Ayanami being Ayanami, and if you're into that sorta thing, Shiiko being clumsy!" placing one hand across her mouth in a fake whisper, she imparted great knowledge to her friend slash confidant slash minion slash butt-monkey. "You owe me five hundred yen by the way." Then she suddenly straightened up and resumed being loud. "That's right, for the low price of only one thousand yen you can own, for yourself, Ayanami's first time, Shiiko's first confession and Nagisa's damn beautiful chin!"

"That wasn't a confession, Kei-chan!" Shiiko cried in protest. "I was just being nice to him because he was new and didn't know anyone."

"Well, Toji bet five hundred on you saying something stupid and I bet a thousand on someone confessing to Nagisa, so I think that sorts itself out nicely, doesn't it?" The amateur director said, cheerily pocketing Toji's money.

And sort itself out nicely it did. By the end of the week, Keiichi had received enough pre-orders for that recording that she could have bought herself a new camera. Of course, it didn't hurt that the rumours started at lunch had generated massive interest in the footage apparently containing the new student molesting Rei with a cello while Shiiko lathered herself in cake batter.

When the source of the rumours had been tracked down, Keiichi had this to say:

"I will not apologise for art."

* * *

_..._

* * *

Much before that, however, when the school day was ending, Nagisa again approached Rei. This time when Shiiko had run ahead to go see her mother at the university.

"I thought I said I did not want know about your plans unless it involved Katsuragi." She said as soon as Nagisa had gotten her attention.

"I think you will want to listen regardless of my connection to the old man. I just thought you should know that your friend with the cello has very high magical potential. If she were trained, she could probably wield more power than I ever could." Nagisa's expression was fairly neutral, but there was a hint of a smile on his lips.

"Why does this matter to me? Katsuragi has told me that potential power means nothing without a proper outlet. Besides, I still have greater power, or those creatures would not have attacked me." Rei's voice was also fairly neutral, but a certain magical ferret's advice against the young man had given an edge to her words

"Be that as it may, you know that Adam is finding those humans with high magical potential, yes? And that is why those creatures were sent after _you_ as the human with the highest unguarded potential, correct?"

"Yes, but now I can fight them." There was a slight pulse under her bandages, a throb as red-corded muscles bulged with power.

"And they know that too, hence why they'll probably move to the next person on their list." Nagisa left her with that, ducking down an alleyway and disappearing.

* * *

**END FIRST SPELL: THEN EVERYTHING WAS LESBIANS**

**AN:** I used the names 'Shiiko' and 'Keiichi' for Shinji and Kensuke in a different story, 'Yet Another Evangelion Fanfiction: Obligatory Rule 63 Edition'. I'm reusing them here because I'm a lazy bastard and they don't really need to change. Another slight change will be the 'pilot' of the 4th 'Evangelion'; as much as I want to imagine Toji in a magical girl dress, Katsuragi the Magical Ferret doesn't provide a dress to go with the powers, just a near-crippling pain as your new-found magic burns its way through your body.

A thought to entertain in this universe: I could have had Gendo be the mother, but instead he's a man that could actually win 'Father of the Year'. Yeah, this is definitely AU fan fiction.


	2. Exposition Time!

No exposition for you!

-The Exposition Nazi

* * *

**Second Spell: Peadophilic Ninja Ferrets are the New Thing**_  
_

* * *

"Hello there, how can I help you?"

"I'm looking for my mother, Doctor Ikari. Is she back yet?" Shiiko asked. With a small flurry on the keyboard, the department receptionist had the relevant data.

"I've got here that the archaeological dig team came back around noon, so they should still be in the lab."

"Thank you!" Shiiko cried out, already racing down the hallways of academia.

Bursting through the double doors of the collation and storage room, one of the senior researchers greeted her with a smile. "Your mother's just in her office, she was actually talking about showing you something." He said, turning back to his work a moment later as the young girl barely paid him any mind.

Running down the hall slightly further, Shiiko slammed into the door with the 'Ikari' nameplate, expecting it to be open. A voice came from the other side of the door, quite clearly her mother. "I'm going to assume that's you Shiiko, no one else runs into my door that often." Swinging the door open, Dr Yui Ikari was beset by her loving daughter, staggering back into the room under the weight of Shiiko's kisses.

"You're back! How was your trip? Did you find any dinosaurs? Were they big?"

"I keep telling you Shiiko, I'm more of an crypto-zoologist than an archaeologist, but I did find something very nice." The elder Ikari said, disengaging her daughter's arms to open a cabinet. "We were going through a cave when we found this big red stick, just embedded in a rock. The rest of it's sitting in a case in the lab, but I managed to sneak a few pieces out before they started cataloguing the site." Reaching into the back of the small wooden table-cupboard, Yui pulled out two glass cylinders suspended on strings, red fragments clinking around inside. "Just between you and me, I think it's from a unicorn's horn, which means it's a very potent good luck charm. I made one for you and one for me, then if I can get my hands on some more, I'll make one for your father, alright?"

"Sure!"

"Alright then, don't go losing this now; I had to do a lot of work to hide these and turn them into necklaces." Yui said, tying the rough strand around the back of Shiiko's neck, then another about her own. "I'll have to stay late to catalogue things and you father might be working late too, so you'll need to get your own dinner."

"I can handle that!"

"Then you should go do your homework and clean your room before I get back, I know what you're like."

* * *

_..._

* * *

_Father, it has changed._

**WHAT HAS CHANGED?**

_It holds something dangerous to itself, it feels powerful._

**THAT CHANGES NOTHING. IT IS STILL ONLY A HUMAN. YOU ARE SACHIEL, FIRST OF MY HERALDS. IF YOU CANNOT DO THIS, THEN PERHAPS YOU ARE NOT WORTHY OF THAT HONOUR.**

_I will accomplish this task Father. I shall be your only Herald and none shall stand against me. You need none but me._

**I HOPE YOU SERVE AS FAITHFULLY AS YOU SPEAK, MY CHILD.**

* * *

_..._

* * *

Shiiko saw Nagisa as she was leaving the university, her perceived 'newest friend' calmly walking along the other side of the road. Calling his name, Shiiko skipped across the quiet street to his side.

"Nagisa-kun, do you live nearby?"

Nagisa grabbed her by the arm almost immediately, pulling her into the closest side-street. "No, but you need to come with me right now." Shocked by Nagisa's promptness, Shiiko was dragged about ten meters down the tiny street before she broke free of his grasp.

"Nagisa-kun I don't want this! Nagisa-kun!"

"If you make a fuss like this, the point of bringing you down here is ruined. Keep quiet, the Encasement is just ahead." As he said this, he raised a hand and splayed his fingers against thin air. With a flash, a hole opened in reality directly in front of them. Through the hole, Shiiko could see a mass of green flesh pounding against the ground, narrowly missing a girl wearing the same uniform each time.

"Rei-chan?"

"She can't hold it back forever. When she tires, it's going to kill her. Then it's going to take you to its master." Nagisa brought his hand down and placed both in his pockets, bringing an air of detachment from his talk of life and death. As Shiiko was trying to process this, a second voice spoke up.

"But if you do exactly as I say, we can all get out of this just fine." Shiiko felt something running up her leg, then the thing jumped onto her skirt and up onto her shoulder. "You don't need to know anything specific at the moment, but I'm the one that gave Ayanami-kun those powers."

"Why? Rei's getting hurt because of those powers, isn't she?" Shiiko asked of the ferret-like being.

"She'd be hurt just the same without them, just like you will be when we eventually fail to stop that thing. Just let me give you the same powers; the two of you can stop it. Even if Nagisa-kun helps, Ayanami-kun can't take down that thing on her own." The ferret-thing adopted a serious expression, deepening its brows into a fluffy 'v'.

"I told you already, I'm not going to help you all the time. This is just the fastest way to fulfill my goals." Nagisa verbally brushed off the talking animal and began to walk toward the hole in reality, swinging his hand out to materialise a massive grey blade.

"Nagisa-kun aside, if you run away here an now I won't blame you. But this won't be the only time monsters like this attack the city." The ferret began to twitch around, scratching at itself.

Shiiko crouched down on the spot, blocking her ears to the monster's roars. "I mustn't run away, I mustn't run away, I mustn't run away." The hole Nagisa had opened in the air closed soon after he passed through. Now though, the area around the hole's location began to crack and shudder. Within seconds of the first crack appearing another had followed. Then hundreds were running across an invisible wall in the middle of the air. They shattered a moment later, the green beast throwing Rei through with a glowing pink lance of energy. As Rei slid to a stop against a wall, the beast rounded on Shiiko and the ferret, sensing the danger the two posed. The ferret began tugging at Shiiko's hair, trying to get her to move, to no avail. The beast flew back under no compulsion of its own.

"I really will explain everything later!" The ferret cried, holding out a red orb to Shiiko. "Just take this and don't let go." He touched it to the back of her hand on accident, where it immediately began to glow and liquefy, wrapping tendrils around her hand. A worried glance to his creation, the ferret jumped down from her shoulder and scampered over to Rei.

Shiiko began to cry out in pain, clawing at her hair for relief. The crystal had already lost its spherical form at this point, physically entering her bloodstream and pulsing with eldritch purpose. In the time it took for Shiiko to regain the ability to think clearly, the monster had enclosed her head in a single clawed hand and was lifting her into the air. There was a pulse of the monster's arm, and her eye _burned_. She knew her eye was probably gone at his point, but something else was telling her to fight, survive and _kill_.

"Artifact identified. Purpose: Integration and amplification of existing mana network. Artifact codified. Absorbed. Activating."

Shiiko fell as the arm holding her aloft was severed by Nagisa's blade. She landed in a crouch, blood leaking from the rim of one eye, the other focused, pupil tight and small and burning green. She leaped at the beast and clung to its torso, battering at its inset face with her bare hands. Taking the opportunity again, Nagisa took the creature's other arm off, leaving with no defense against Shiiko's attack. Driving it back with the force of her blows, the thing eventually stumbled and fell. Moments later, the cracked, bird-like mask underneath Shiiko began to glow pure white. Thinking quickly, Nagisa flicked out his hand, an orange dome springing to life around the creature in response.

The explosion lasted less than a second, straining the barrier the apprentice mage had placed around it. There was no dust or smoke to clear, just a lone girl with blood dripping from her face.

* * *

_..._

* * *

Nagisa left as soon as the monster was confirmed destroyed, cheerily stating that he would see them in school the next day. Supporting Shiiko with an arm, Rei lead her deeper into the back streets by the university till she found a park bench with not park attached. Sitting themselves down, the ferret thing again appeared on Shiiko's shoulder, much annoying the two girls who were trying to wipe as much blood off themselves as they could.

"Introductions first I suppose. I'm Katsuragi, a powerful wizard currently disguising himself as a rodent. I'm not that good at body-altering spells, so don't hold that against me. I believe Ayanami-kun already knows you, but I do not."

Shiiko grumbled out a response, too drained of any energy to be coherent. "Her name is Shiiko Ikari; she's a classmate of mine." Rei elucidated.

"Well then, onto the meat of the matter." The wizard-cum-ermine pounded a tiny fist into a clawed palm and began to rub them together. "What you two just fought and drove to suicide was a type of golem used as a familiar. The person controlling them is Adam, one of the two original magic-using humans on this planet. His goal involves the eradication of all human life on the planet through various means. His current plan is to gather ordinary people with high magic potential and doing things to them to reach his goal. There's obviously more to it but that can wait till later."

Rei rose from the bench, her face clean of blood and dirt. "Agreed. How early can you get to school tomorrow?"

"Early enough." Shiiko replied, a silly grin plastered over her face.

"Very well then, I shall see you tomorrow. Goodbye." Katsuragi said, scampering away from the two girls to find shelter for the night.

"He'll follow us home, he can't risk getting caught by Adam's other familiars." Rei said as soon as her mysterious benefactor was gone. They looped back through the same network of alleys to retrieve their bags, which had been dropped in their haste. The puffy grey tail protruding from Shiiko's bag wasn't very well hidden.

* * *

_..._

* * *

"There was, many millenia ago, no such thing as 'wizards' and 'dragons' in this world. The only two magical beings on the planet were primal beasts of great power. Two humans sought out these beasts for reasons I know not." Katsuragi stroked his chin as he thought of his next piece of exposition. Shiiko combed her hair out after a long bath.

"Then what? Did they slay the monsters and take the magic for themselves?"

"Not exactly. The beasts were willing to give up their power, provided the person had a good motive. It's an old story so a lot's been lost over time, but the two humans gained the power of these two creatures. The man, Adam, cared more for the planet than the people, so he shared that raw power with the animals of the world. The woman, Lilith, used her power to create a system that humans could use and that eventually became the magic that I can use. The creatures went into a deep sleep to conserve their remaining power, and the Age of Magic began."

"But then, why's Adam evil? And where's Lilith? You aren't very good at telling stories Katsuragi-san."

"I'm not telling a story!" He snapped at her, jamming a claw into her pillow. "I'm telling you about Adam's history and motives so that you can continue to fight in the event of my death!"

"Sorry for interrupting." She said, thoroughly chastised.

"No need, I was done explaining what I've already told Ayanami-kun. Take me in to school tomorrow and I'll explain the rest to you there."

"Then, what about Nagisa-kun? He knows you right? Why didn't you mention him?"

"I said I would explain it tomorrow. In the meantime, don't tell him of any plans relating to this war, any information that you gain from me, especially anything to do with your powers. I don't know what's happened to him lately, but he's not to be trusted."

* * *

_..._

* * *

Katsuragi rocked back and forth on the shelf in the small storage cupboard, looking at the two girls who's heads were slightly higher than the shelf. "Do you get it now?" he asked. "If Nagisa-kun wants information from either of you, you're not to give it to him. Don't discuss anything related to Adam when he is nearby. When one of Adam's familiars is attacking, don't expect him to help you, just kill it. If he suddenly attacks you, don't hesitate to kill him too."

"I don't really want to kill him, but I see why." Shiiko said, her eyes downcast.

"We should get to class now. We can speak more afterwards. You should remain here Katsuragi, the biology faculty will probably try to dissect you." Rei leaned down to pick up her bag, then quickly cracked open to door to check her surroundings.

Noting that there was no one around to notice them exit a small storage cupboard the floor above where their classroom actually was. Luckily, none of their seniors pointed out the two girls with 'Class 2-C' written on their shoes. No one in their class pointed out when the two girls got to their seats just moments before the teacher entered. Luckily no one was in the main sports storage room across the campus when the next familiar attacked, taking out a large portion or the wall as it entered.

* * *

_..._

* * *

So I just spent all day restructuring Just Another Evangelion Fanfiction to reduce the number of chapters with low word counts so I reach this point in Mahou Shinji (Fuck you I can title it how I want) and thought 'good place to end'.

I am a bad man.

The fight was also deliberately underwhelming because that's how it always feels to me in the original Eva; Shinji has no idea what he's really getting himself into and gets his shit wrecked. He powers up because as-of-now unrevealed plot and wins. It's how I write it. can you figure out the plot this time?


	3. Burn Notice

**Third Spell: I think I left the plot lying around here somewhere**_  
_

* * *

Seconds after the explosion had finished echoing the school sprung into action. The first piece of action was an announcement from the principal. This was followed by a very orderly and in no way at all panicked rush for the doors. Shiiko realised quite quickly that Nagisa was dawdling behind the rest of the class. She called out to him, but there were too many people between them for either of them to be heard properly.

At least, Nagisa's lips were moving like he was saying something.

'_I'm working on an illusion to take our places while we fight that thing. Stay with the class and don't run off until I say so.' _Nagisa caught the eye of both Shiiko and Rei as the class streamed out the door, joining the greater flow of students. Shiiko felt a weight on her shoulder, then a small voice in her ear. "Ikari-kun, we have to go now! That thing's after you three and it can probably track you. I don't know how attached you are to your classmates, but the entire system of magic would be exposed if you let it get too close."

There was no point in debating the topic with herself, and there would be no time to consider the options with Rei and Nagisa. Her mind resolute, her face exuding determination, Shiiko took the first opportunity she could to exit the frothing mass of students and make her way to the school's gymnasium (and attached equipment storage room). Katsuragi, being much wiser than his current vehicle, sent a message to his former pupil as to the likely plan of attack. He then concentrated on extending the illusion he kept about himself to Shiiko's running form.

* * *

_..._

* * *

Nagisa slammed a fist against the wall as he passed, letting half of his spell drop away into the ether he had pulled it from. '_You at least need to stay close by me._' He said to Rei. '_I need to formulate a spell that conceals your form but also makes it seem like you've never left. No easy task, as you may think._' Rei made no indication that she had fully understood, but she slowed down slightly so that she drew level with him at the top of the stairwell. As did Toji and Keiichi.

"Don't want to cause a stink," Toji began, "But either of you seen Ikari?"

Kei chimed in as well. "Haven't seen her since we got out of the class. You?"

"I have not. We should not worry though, she is likely nearby." Rei said. Toji levelled a gaze at her, with Kei poking her head around Toji's shoulder to do the same. When Rei did not meet his eyes, he pulled her away from the other students and continued.

"She went to go see what happened by the gym, didn't she?"

Nagisa spoke up, meeting Toji's eyes with his own piercing red gaze. "You shouldn't follow her Suzuhara, this isn't a battle you want to fight." He said, earning Toji's ire.

"Not the time to be starting something, transfer student." Toji said, pulling away from Rei and walking away. "I'm going to go get Ikari and then I'll deal with you." He continued, keeping his eyes locked on Nagisa as he walked against the flow. Kei went to follow but a hand reached out from behind a corner and tapped her neck.

"Go on and follow the rest of your class, get in line and have your name ticked off. There's a good girl." The voice attached to the hand said. Grabbing her by the shoulder, the hand turned her around and pushed her off into the crowd. The unknown person stepped around the corner and gave both remaining children a very calculating look.

"I'll leave the boring questions for later. I assume one of you was going to get an illusion going then run off to fight the monster, right?" She said.

"Yes." Nagisa replied, his fingers twitching occasionally. "I've almost completed preparations for two Everpresents and will begin work on a form of invisibility soon."

The woman sized the two of them up. "I can work on the invisibility, just stay on the wall here with me. Once you're done with the Everpresents I'll take them with me and drop them into your class." Rei went to stand by her side at the wall, but Nagisa took a moment longer to make his decision.

"I do not think I should be handing over my spells like that, mine are slightly different from what you might expect."

"You mean how your magic stinks like the thing that just broke in? I can handle that. Now get over here young man."

* * *

_..._

* * *

It was an interesting point to note that upon reaching the gym, Shiiko wasn't tired or out of breath. In fact, she wasn't any more adversely affected by her actions than she had been the previous day, defeating the first of Adam's monsters without remembering she'd done it. Katsuragi warned her off bursting through the doors and being ambushed, but there weren't many ways to enter the cavernous room covertly.

The large hole in the side wall may have been an option, but the creature was probably watching it intently with some magical sense.

"Do I get a weapon or something? Nagisa-kun had that sword thing, but Rei and I don't have anything." Shiiko asked, trembling slightly as she walked the rest of the way to the gym.

"I suppose I should tell you before I send you to what may well be your death." Katsuragi began. "That orb I gave you is meant to act as a superfluous anatomical system to store your magic. When you aren't casting spells, you'll be stronger and faster than a normal human." He paused for a moment to let that sink in. "But you reacted in a way I had no knowledge of, so I don't know if you'll be able to use anything beyond the Shield of Terror."

"Shield of Terror?" Shiiko asked. Sensing that Katsuragi would begin another convoluted explanation, she stopped walking and leaned against the wall.

Katsuragi muttered something under his breath, then spoke again, for Shiiko's benefit. "The Shield of Terror is a magical technique that all humans carrying Lilith's Blessing know, much like the third eye. It's potentially the strongest defensive magic possible, but only in the hands of a great wizard such as myself. Any other time, and it's over-powered by anything even slightly stronger. I designed those orbs to lend you power beyond that of a normal wizard, thus your Shield is incredibly powerful. You probably didn't notice it, but in that last battle you threw the monster back without even trying." Katsuragi tried to be encouraging, but Shiiko slumped against the wall.

"I don't want to fight like that!" She said, crying into her hands. "It hurt to fight like that! I don't want to hurt my friends, and I think I will if I keep doing this."

"Your friends will be killed if you don't fight. Or I can take my orb back and wait for the other two."

Shiiko rose from the wall, still uncertain, but determined. "I suppose I have to keep doing this, don't I? I'm a magical girl, and that makes it my duty to fight monsters." She began the rest of the walk to the gym doors on shaking legs. When she reached the doors, she tried to summon up the feeling she'd had when fighting the other monster. The idea of rejection, rooted in fear. _I do not want you to come near me, I am afraid._

There was a flicker of orange by her hand as she grasped the handle, then two great lights broke down the door and grabbed her. Pulling her through the now open archway, Shiiko was brought face to maw with the latest servant of Adam. One of the lights wrapped around her pulled away and dulled, taking the form of a chitinous blade attached to this creature's 'shoulder'. It clung to the wall above the door with four similar legs, flat pinkish armour over grotesque insectoid legs. It's final arm still glowed with a great power, a tendril wrapped about her midsection with enough force to shorten her breath. It burned, but gave off no heat.

_I am Shamshel, Herald of Father's Dawn. You are an abomination, and you shall die._

Shiiko stopped struggling when the creature spoke. "You can talk? If you're this smart, why are you killing people?"

The creature's mouth opened a closed silently, grinding serrated teeth together as it did so. Without a further word it threw her away, bouncing her off the far wall. From afar, Shiiko could get a much better look at this so called Herald of the Dawn. Not that it looked any better. The head that the mouth was set in was broad and flat, much like a pink leaf. A pink leaf with eyes and a sideways mouth with too many teeth to actually fit all of them in. The legs were surrounding a large fleshy sack that was too suspiciously round for it to be natural. There were too many legs in the way for her to try destroying the growth and hoping that was it's heart, though, so her main focus was on the arm-like things it possessed, two blade-like claws that could change into burning whips of light.

With a hissing roar, the Herald crawled away from the wall and bent low to the ground on its many-jointed legs. It was still much taller than Shiiko, but not so tall that it would have trouble killing her.

_To impose your morality on we Heralds is an act of great foolishness, abomination. For your further mockery of my purpose, I shall erase this human structure you call 'school'._

"No!" she cried. "I don't want to fight you, I just want you to go away. Why do you have to attack us to get what you want?"

* * *

_..._

* * *

It didn't take much longer for both sets of spells to be complete, the woman tapping both of them on the head then brushing a finger across Nagisa's lips. "Run along now." She said. "You two seem to stand a much better chance than I would against that thing."

Nagisa ran off immediately, his legs moving faster than a child of his age should move. Rei paused for a moment to regard the woman, taking in her smile, her eyes and the way she held herself; perfectly poised in the manner a well-trained mage should be.

"Thank you Nurse." She said eventually, a small bow accompanying her actions.

"You know, I do have a doctorate as well, I just became a school nurse for other reasons."

"Thank you Doctor Akagi."

* * *

_..._

* * *

Shiiko didn't move as the Herald bore down on her, but she didn't want to die, so it's attacks just bounced away from her. Seeing it so close drove the fear into her, and she fled.

She fled into the corner, so it wasn't the best idea, but I don't really blame her. Shit's scary, yo.

Driven into the corner, she had nowhere to run as the Herald pinned her in place with her own Shield. It hunkered down low, resting two legs on the orange flicker Shiiko was producing. It lashed out at her with its whips, but to no avail. With one arm a blade and the other glowing hot, the Herald ripped a hole in the Shield. With almost lazy disdain, it placed a blade against her head and drew back slightly.

_Die, knowing your sins. Die, knowing no others came to your aid. Die, knowing you failed._

Which was when Toji came barreling through and grabbed the Herald's arm with his whole body. Without even a second thought, he was tossed aside by the giant insect monster. Dazed and slightly battered, he didn't get back up. The Herald seemed to look at Toji's prone form for a moment, then back at the person it was actually fighting.

_Pitiful. Not even a Lilin and it showed more courage than you._

Without breaking 'eye contact', the Herald stalked over to Toji and hoisted him up by the ankle.

_Behold, a human that lived a life without fear. And you, abomination. You slaughtered my brother with power it seems you do not understand, you fear me and my kin for crimes you have not seen me commit, and you wish that I had not come here? You have lived your life as an abomination in fear of forces that would not harm you and brought this war upon yourself._

The herald dangled Toji in front of her, then brought itself low and placed it's other arm-blade under her chin.

_A life lived in fear is a life unlived._

"I'm not afraid of you, I just don't want you to hurt my friends." Shiiko said, reaching deep within herself for the determination needed to kill the Herald. Within herself, she found something. Base desires, shaped by intelligence and brought forth by the world. Raw instincts, a will to live and the will to fight for it.

Deeper below that, even, was a curse given unto humanity as it stepped beyond the cradle of intelligence. The blessing of Lilith, renewed every generation humanity scrabbled and fought amongst itself.

A wave of power threw the Herald back. A flash of white cut Toji free; luckily he didn't break his neck on the way down. Shiiko leaped forward, covering a distance of several metres without trying. The shard of pure white in her hands cast shadows all around her. An arm-blade missing a tip tried to gouge out her side, but it only managed a glancing scrape. A tendril wrapped around her arms and forced her to a halt. It lifted her up once more, intending to rip her in two.

She fed the fire within her heart, and watched the beast within grow stronger. It struggled against its chains and brought its own power to bear against the world. With an odd vibration, the shard in her hands grew longer. In an instant it was as long as she was tall, the strange angle it was held at sending it straight through the pulsating growth that was the Herald's heart. It began to thrash about in pain; then simply the throes of a wild animal dying.

Shiiko landed heavily, almost twisting her ankle in her carelessness. Vaguely remembering what had happened the last time a Herald had died, she grabbed him under the arm and ran.

* * *

_..._

* * *

Detective Ryoji Kaji of the First Response Unit was, in his own, totally warranted opinion, overqualified to be one of the hundred or so police officers allowed to fire their weapons with impunity. Of course, when he told that to the women at the bars he emphasised the words 'firing loaded weapons'. He tried not to use any of the magical suggestion suggestion techniques Ritsuko had taught him, but it was a constant struggle to stay true to his promises.

Including the ones he had made to Chief Inspector Ikari. 'Keep my daughter safe from the world of magic', he had said, slamming a hand down on the desk. 'And don't hit on her the moment she's old enough'. He'd agreed, of course, there was no reason a person with no awareness of their own magic would be the target of such dangerous attacks.

Of course, whatever semi-sentient and assuredly malevolent entity controlled luck and destiny was definitely sadistic.

"Around the outside!" he called out, directing his team of four towards the slowly collapsing structure. He followed it up with a glance at Ritsuko and an order of 'medics follow in five minutes, no exceptions'. A wave of his off hand sent Lieutenants Ibuki and Aoba through a side entrance. Kirishima and Hyuuga followed him. They entered through a rather large hole in the wall, sweeping their eyes across the newly renovated 'open-plan' sports centre. With a few muttered words, Hyuuga wiped away the dark stain that was the remains of the creature. Kirishima took the initiative with an apparently remaining piece of the monster and slipped it under her body armour. With all pieces of 'questionable' evidence recovered or removed, Kaji announced the room clear and moved on to the other large hole that lead to what remained of the storage room.

Somewhere within the school building proper came the cry of 'Medic!', which was rather worrying, given the creatures tended to leave no survivors in their suicidal attacks. Ordering Hyuuga to secure the secondary site and clear anything up, he ran off inside with Kirishima in tow. When he arrived at what he would report as 'secondary scene beta', he found Ibuki and Aoba standing over two paramedics from outside. The paramedics weren't in any way special, which meant their memories needed to be altered as soon as possible. He felt quite confident in that occurring, as he could sense Ritsuko's magic quite close by, lurking in the mesh of a standard invisibility spell. Twisting his vision to focus beyond the spell, he saw instead two students, male and female, watching carefully over the other two students-of a similar gender distribution- being treated by the paramedics. Seeing no other choice, he gestured to Ibuki that she should deal with the problem. Taking a moment to understand the wordless command, Ibuki finally understood that she was to 'suggest' things that the paramedics should do.

Like 'go to sleep for a moment'.

"Alright, I think this situation is getting a bit complicated, and I'd like to deal with this all before my bosses come here and bring up what happened in Fuyuki." Kaji began, holstering his pistol as a show of faith. "So to start us off, does anyone mind explaining why two people are covered in burns and two others are invisible? I'm willing to wait a decent amount of time for this, but I don't have all day. I _am_ a magical police officer and I _can_ just scan your minds." Kaji spoke to all four of the students currently in the room, but he was willing to hear something from his team.

The two students that were invisible made themselves notably less so, but contributed nothing, the male one claiming that he had no interest in 'the Lilin side of things'. The girl had no idea what had happened, she had been making her way over with the intention of fighting, but had found an empty battlefield. Kirishima's check of the other boy turned up nothing, he was too confused to provide any reasonable accounts of the events that had occurred. Seeing no other choice, Kaji knelt down in front of the remaining girl and cupped her cheek in his hand.

"You look like you've been fighting in a war, Miss. Be a shame if you scarred such a pretty face. Can you tell me what happened here? And don't worry about keeping secrets, everyone who isn't already in on 'The Secret' is unconscious."

The girl blushed slightly, then had trouble maintaining eye contact with him when she spoke. He tended to have that effect on people. "W-well, there was a monster, a-and it broke into the school." The girl spoke in a halting fashion, likely the nerves from being so close to the explosion. "I went to go fight it and ended up killing it. I remembered that the last one exploded so I picked up Toji-kun and ran. I didn't know how to contain it like Nagisa-kun, so I'm sorry if it destroyed the gym."

Kaji waved away the girl's misgivings. "You did just fine, the building's not likely to collapse and you stopped that monster from going any further. Now I assume that _this_ is Toji-kun?" Kaji said, pointing at the boy that should probably be receiving decent levels of medical attention. When the girl nodded, he quickly began to piece together what had happened. "So you two were fighting the monster and hoping that your two friends here would make it in time, but you ended up defeating it by yourselves?"

The other girl, somehow possessing pale blue hair, shook her head. "Suzuhara is not affiliated with our activities. I am told that he is not in any way affiliated with any system of magic." She said.

Kaji clapped his hands together as he rose to his feet. "Well then, I suppose we'll work out what happened during the fight later, we just have to deal with the present. The burn patterns on the two of you don't look like something an explosion could cause, so we'll have to fix that before we let the medics wake up." He gestured to Aoba, who started working on a spell immediately.

"Now then, I'm going to do something to your skin that makes it into burnt skin, but without the pain. I do find that talking will take your mind off the transformation, so why don't you tell me a little bit about yourself?" Aoba's bedside manner was quite cheerful, but the image was somewhat ruined by the police paraphernalia loaded onto his belt.

The girl winced slightly when the spell began, but took Aoba's advice and compiled a small profile about herself. "My name's Shiiko Ikari, I'm fourteen years old and I'm 150 centimetres tall. I like baking cakes and playing the cello, but I don't like it when people think I'm stupid because I act silly."

"Back when I was younger we called that kind of person 'lively'." Aoba said. "I'd even say Mana over there is quite lively. Wouldn't you agree, Mana?" he directed this last question at his colleague, Mana Kirishima, who replied in a slightly confrontational manner. "Blow it out your arse before I shove it back in, Aoba." She said.

Aoba withdrew his hands from Shiiko's arms and quickly glanced over at Toji. "I think your friend's wounds look normal, but was there anywhere else you were wounded that doesn't seem right?" She shook her head and tried to stand, but Aoba held her down by her shoulder. "Stay there for the moment, we need to check on the actual doctors now."

* * *

_..._

* * *

It took some time, but the two wounded children were escorted out of the school and over to the ambulances with little trouble. Kaji's team dispersed into the grouping of police officers trying to make sense of it all while Kaji himself followed the invisible students as they rejoined their class. Right by Ritsuko. Who could see them. And him.

Shitshitshitrunrunrunrunrun.

"Kaji, how nice of you to prioritise civilians and wounded. I know how hard that can be in your line of work." She said, stepping through the crowd of students to get to his side.

Kaji coughed into his hand. "Yes well, I've done the shooting, now I just need to ask the questions. Care to direct me to the classes Ikari and Suzuhara are part of?"

Ritsuko waved a hand off to the line that the invisible students had tacked themselves onto. "That one, got them both. Have you drawn straws yet?"

"Straws?" Kaji asked. "Whatever for?"

"For Gendo. Someone has to tell him his beloved daughter almost got blown up."

Kaji's face fell. "But I did such a good job dealing with the wounded, do I get a free pass?" He held his hands out to Ritsuko in a pleading manner. "I'll even question every student personally, don't make me do this, please!"

This only earned a sigh from Ritsuko. "I'd be willing to call Yui for you, but someone needs to deal with Gendo before he finds out through someone else."

"We're really in deep this time aren't we?" Kaji said.

"You are, Yui loves me." Ritsuko left Kaji with a quick pat on the shoulder, presumably to call Yui and organise an exodus from the city. "Now go get Maya to make the call, Gendo doesn't mind her."

* * *

What's this now, I've written almost 10,000 words and Gendo hasn't actually appeared? What kind of Evangelion fanfiction is this?

The good kind!


End file.
